Current Job

 I HATE my job SO MUCH!!! Manager's not nice and makes me so fuckin' nervous EVERY time I go to work... I'm not the only one who feels this way at work. My anxiety goes haywire EVERY damn shift now!!! >:( I just wanna get fired soooooo bad!!! I've NEVER wanted to be fired from a job than I do now!!! I've cried at work and home cause of this manager, numerous times! >:'( Haven't even been there a long time. I'm NEVER working there again after I leave or get fired! I beg my manager to get fired... Not literally, it's just a HUGE wish I have... A spirit I work with, I've asked them if they can make it to where I get fired from my job, and they said yes! So, hopefully I'll get fired soon! I've been trying SO hard to find a different job as QUICK as I can... I'm also telling co-workers about it, hoping they'll say something to our manager, and my manager ends up firing me. I BEG to be fired from there... I don't break easy, but if my manager gets after me for not doing my job right, when I DO TRY, and they say I DON'T try, I might bark. I don't get pissed off like that much, but when it's to where I've had enough and all my limits are pushed, I stand up for myself. (which isn't easy for me to do...) I just hope I don't see the manager when I go back to work soon... I'm done feeling I'm below everyone. I'm done feeling insecure and scared there. I'm done having bad anxiety the day before a shift and it ends up staying with me during that shift... Like the second I start my shift, I CAN'T WAIT for it to end... </3 Fingers crossed I get let go!!!

I'm Back! ...Again!

    Hi everyone! I'm back! I know it's been a while. A lot has happened. (I guess) I still work at Toy Time. I got a gaming laptop finally! I gave my old laptop to my boyfriend. My Mom moved back to Missouri. She currently lives with my Grandparents (her parents). I don't know if I have much to say, cause life is just the same... Last month I did, however, FINALLY go to Macabre Cinema! No Lost Boys sadly... They didn't have many actors that night, so it went pretty quick... That was the low part of it. Obviously, I enjoyed everything else! You know me, I LOVE all things horror! Halloween was boring. Didn't have plans that day... Didn't dress up, cause they had the same costumes as before...

    These days haven't been all that great. Took my driver's text for my permit, passed, but I still can't have my permit... It was a waste of my fuckin' time. I've been so livid and depressed about that... I JUST WANT TO BE FREE!!! I can't live like this anymore... I'm fuckin' done... This isn't fair... I know life's not fair, but fuck life. JUST PLEASE I BEG!! LET ME LIVE MY LIFE!!! I CAN'T LIVE LIKE THIS ANYMORE!!! I've had it... I'm at my limit...

I'm Back!

    

    Sorry it's been a very long time since I've been on here! A lot has changed. I moved in with my boyfriend about two years ago. We have a ball python named Persephone. <3 She's my whole world! She's about a year old. I got her last year. She's very spoiled, but lovable! I got a job at a toy store last year as well for the X-Mas holidays. I still work there. I've also been working on becoming an addiction's counselor or whatever field I choose that works with drug addiction and recovery. I've always wanted my own office and to work wherever I want, even if I'm on a trip with my family. It's a lot of work and studying to get certified for whichever field I choose to be in. I'm planning on making this my career. I'm still on disability and guardianship, but working on trying to get off of those things. The reason I've wanted to help drug addicts is because of Nikki Sixx of Mötley Crüe. He is the reason I have a huge heart for drug addicts and why I wanna help them. <3

    There's so much I wanna say here. Since I talked about my future career at the top, I'll be talking about the movie I've been waiting for since 2017/2018. 'Final Destination: Bloodlines' aka 'Final Destination 6' or FD6. I've waited FOREVER for a sixth FD movie! I've seen every video I can find about 'Bloodlines'. There is one guy I already have a crush on. The character is Erik Campbell. He's the tattoo artist and the 'Ian McKinley'(FD3) of the movie. This one's gonna hit very hard since it's about an entire family. 'Bloodlines'. Last night I write down which character was who and how they're related from parents, kids, cousins, etc. I also think I figured out who dies first and so on, until death intervenes.

New Goal's!

 I have a new goal. A few new goals to work on musically! Starting tomorrow I'll be practicing playing 'Fiction' by Avenged Sevenfold on my acoustic guitar. I'm so excited to learn it! <3 RIP Jimmy Sullivan! I love and miss you foREVer my angel of music! xo <3 I had band practice today. I think it was my last. I love playing drums and I'm so stoked I learned to play because of The Rev. I made a promise to him many years ago. I just feel that bass guitar is my strongest instrument to play personally. I'll keep playing drums, that'll never stop! It's just... I'm scared if I get big one day and perform drums in front of an audience, I'll forget everything.. Plus I'm kinda losing my spark for drums.. They're not boring at all, it's just making that my place in a band and wishing I could do a different instrument. I'm also gonna start with my EDM/electronic solo music. \m/ I'm sorry this blog is short. I did it last minute before bed time. I'll probably have another blog or blogs tomorrow. I will try. I really want to, but ideas are a bitch. Goodnight and stay safe! \m/

Concerts & Band Practice, Job Searching

 

    Sorry It's been a while! I've been very lazy with my blogs... I apologize. I haven't been working a lot at Game Stop. Good.. I don't like it. I hope to get a job at Spirit Halloween soon! I hope... I already applied a few weeks ago. Had band practice today. Our band needs a logo. That's my job! I found a lot of fonts I like for my band. They're free too! \m/ I recently saw Alesana again! I met them too! One of the guitarists tried to avoid me. I started to walk up to him and he put his hand up like 'stop'. I was hoping he'd sign the book Dennis and Shawn made. I was a little hurt about it. Maybe he just had a bad day or something?!... I recently got a tarantula. Her name's Nyxx. I named her after an artist I like. Haven't held her. Not sure if I will or not. I want too, but I'm scared too. I'm not ready for the 4th of July.. I hate that day. They need to ban fireworks. There's people that have bad ptsd, like me, who can't stand loud banging noises cause it gives them bad anxiety... I'll just keep ear buds in all day and night I guess... On another note, I started taking my own meds and filling up my pill box!

    I've been wanting to change jobs for a long time now. I don't like my job at Game Stop... I thought of waiting to see if I get hired to Spirit Halloween, then that'll be the end of my time at Game Stop finally... I already have a small list of other jobs to apply at if I get the job at Spirit. Hopefully I'll get hired at one of the stores after Spirit closes for the year... I've always wanted to work at Star Bucks, but it's a fast paced job, and fast paced isn't me... I wish it was... That would have been a cool job. Plus I go there almost all the time. I can't wait for pumpkin spice lattes to FINALLY be at Star Bucks again! After that, I always look forward for the peppermint flavor. I can't wait for fall! Even pumpkin spice snacks!

Ps, I finally went up a size on my septum ring! After this size, I'll finally be at my final size! I can't wait! \m/

No More Daily Blogs

 

    

    I'm sorry I haven't been doing my blogs. This every day blog was getting to me. I'm so behind, I just decided not to do daily blogs anymore. Ideas can be a pain to think of, plus my daily schedule. I'm still blogging. I might do a weekly blog instead of a blog a day. That'll be easier on me. Besides, I'm no where when it comes to getting paid to blog. I don't even know if it'll get anywhere to where I do get paid for it. From my new job to my regular schedule, I couldn't get blogs done or thought of, because of my every day schedule. I don't know how long this one will be honestly... Not long, I know that... My new job is at GameStop is good. I'm still learning some stuff. I have two full pages of notes in my phone I typed when I was doing online training. Then again, I think I deleted it... Shit... Oh well, there's nothing wrong with asking for help. I work tonight. I've been trying to get my pay card going. It's set, but every time I try to use the app it gets locked! This is three times now! I need to call the card people and unlock my card. I don't like this bank. It's Metabank. Apparently it's not just me, it's everyone who has the card. The card is actually rapid! pay card. MetaBank is the bank it uses. I'll have to figure it out. I'm sorry this blog is short. I just wanted to do an update real quick. I hope you all have an amazing day! \m/

How I Schedule My Work Week

 

    This is my 29th blog! It's a make up for March 26th... I'm really behind. I'm sorry!

    This blog I'm gonna explain how I schedule my work week. I use three calendars. My phone, a large calendar that holds up til' 2026, and a handbook schedule. I write and text the same things that are going on for the week/month. Most of it's the same... Nothing exciting. For instance,

Sunday - Nothing unless a family event or something happens

Monday - Nothing unless a family even or have any apts.

Tuesday - See my outing person

Wednesday - Nothing unless a family even or have any apts.

Thursday - I see my case worker(unless rescheduled)

Friday - Nothing unless a family even or have any apts.

Saturday - Nothing unless a family even or something happens

    That's pretty much my schedule. It's not much, but when I look at my calendar for the whole month, it looks like a lot, but it's just the same stuff. That's all I really have for this blog. I thought I was gonna have trouble with this blog, but turned out to be easy for me to come up with. Thank you so much for reading my blogs! It means a lot! I hope you all have a great day/night, wherever you are! \m/