If I Could Change Anything About My Life

     This is a make up for March 24th.

    

If I could change anything about my life, my body wouldn't be so retarded. I'd have a normal body like everyone else. I hate my body so fuckin' much. I have spina bifida and a carotid artery. Thankfully my spina bifida isn't as bad as other cases. I have the occulta. There's different types of it. A patch of hair grows on the lower part of my back. I shave it, so I don't feel as self cautious than I normally do. There's a scar on my back from surgery. "Spina bifida is a birth defect in which a developing baby's spinal cord fails to develop properly while in the womb. Symptoms can sometimes be seen on the skin above the spinal defect. They include an abnormal tuft of hair, a birthmark, or protruding spinal cord tissue. When treatment is necessary, it's done through surgery to close to the defect. Other treatments focus on managing complications." I'm not posting any pics, cause this topic is very sensitive to me and embarrassing as shit... I also have a carotid artery, where blood vessels in the neck that carry blood from the heart to the brain. Carotid artery disease causes up to one-third of all strokes. That's one bullshit I'm at high risk of. Strokes. I swear if it happens while I'm young, I'm dying young. I'm not gonna fuckin' deal with that shit. I won't. I have to be super careful bending and lifting things. That's why I can't have a job that does a lot of it. If something were to ever happen to my other artery that works, I'd be dead. I don't have blood flowing on my right side of my neck. Only my left. I'm so sorry... I'm feeling very insecure now... I think I should stop with this blog... I don't think I can go any further... Plus, I pretty much explained everything to be honest. I hope you all have a great night! \m/