Open/Public Letter To My Fallen Angels(Musicians) RIP

                                                                                                                                         3/8/23

    Dear Jimmy Sullivan(Avenged Sevenfold) and Sid Vicious(Sex Pistols),                                                  

    I've been blogging a lot lately with my new blog channel. It's hard for ideas half the time for me to think of, so I go online for ideas. Just like my lyrics. Heh. I put some in my notes so I wouldn't have constant writer's block like I normally do. Tonight's blog idea was to write an open letter to someone. As always, I thought of you guys. The two of you never leave my mind. I'm sure you knew that for years now. I hope. <3 This blog is the most personal one I have now, and probably the most important blog I've ever done. I'm so scared to post this... Not a day or night goes by without you on my mind. I love and miss you guys like crazy... It hurts too much... I wish you were here... That or if I was with you... Wherever you are... I'd give anything to bring you guys back to life... I'd sell my soul, or do a simple trade for mine if it means for you to come back... I try to live for you, and I try to do the best I can. I just wanna make you guys happy and proud. Do I?!... I feel I've failed you so many times... The worst thing I've done was overdose on my meds a few years ago. I didn't do it on purpose. I did something that I was scared my guardians would get mad at. They wouldn't have. We talked about it. I'm never doing that again. All it did was make me tired for a few days... I don't think I can forgive myself for it. I always say I'm fine cause I have you guys, many more bands, and musicians by my side. Things today are getting a lot better. Not a whole lot, but a lot. I'm thankful for that. I don't know if you can hear me every time, or at all, but I like to think you do. It helps me feel better. I wish I could see you guys... Hang out for a day or 24 hours straight. ...Or forever.. But that's gonna take forever... I promise I do try to live for you guys... It'd be easier if you were still here... Alive... I keep trying to find wallet size pictures of you guys so I can take you with me everywhere I go. I can't find any... Even if it was just a polaroid of you two, that'd be perfect. I'm never gonna stop looking for one. I hope you can see my memorial I have for you guys in my front room. I sing to you all the time. I break down half the time. Speaking of music, I wish I could write and create music with you guys. Maybe in another life. Hopefully... I just wanna be by your side so bad... I don't know if you know this, but I've written so many lyrics and poems for you guys. I still do. Poems are a lot easier to come up with. I don't know if spirits sleep, but if so, I don't wanna keep you long. I mean... I do, but I can't be greedy... I'd feel like an asshole... "Forever yours, forever you."(Evanesence) Before I go, I need to share a song to you guys that I've listened to and played for you for many years. Okay. Two song by them. The lyrics are below. Sweet dreams Jimmy and Sid. I love and miss you foREVer. Goodnight. (blows a kiss)

Forgive Me(Evanesence)

"Can you forgive me again?

I don't know what I said
But I didn't mean to hurt you

I heard the words come out
I felt that I would die
It hurt so much to hurt you

Then you look at me
You're not shouting anymore
You're silently broken

I'd give anything now
to kill those words for you

Each time I say something I regret I cry "I don't want to lose you."
But somehow I know that you will never leave me, yeah.

'Cause you were made for me
Somehow I'll make you see
How happy you make me

I can't live this life
Without you by my side
I need you to survive

So stay with me
You look in my eyes and I'm screaming inside that I'm sorry.

And you forgive me again
You're my one true friend
And I never meant to hurt you"

Anywhere(Evanesence)

"Dear my love, haven't you wanted to be with me

And dear my love, haven't you longed to be free
I can't keep pretending that I don't even know you
And at sweet night, you are my own
Take my hand

[CHORUS:]
We're leaving here tonight
There's no need to tell anyone
They'd only hold us down
So by the morning light
We'll be half way to anywhere
Where love is more than just your name

I have dreamt of a place for you and I
No one knows who we are there
All I want is to give my life only to you
I've dreamt so long I cannot dream anymore
Let's run away, I'll take you there

We're leaving here tonight
There's no need to tell anyone
They'd only hold us down
So by the mornings light
We'll be half way to anywhere
Where no one needs a reason

Forget this life
Come with me
Don't look back you're safe now
Unlock your heart
Drop your guard
No one's left to stop you 
^ or my version for you. "Forget this life. I'll go with you. I won't look back, I'm safe now. Unlock my heart. Drop my guard. No one's left to stop us now"
Forget this life
Come with me
Don't look back you're safe now
Unlock your heart
Drop your guard
No one's left to stop you now

[Chorus]

[Silence]

Yeah yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah"